by Brianne Anderson

My day is not complete at the Library without a caregiver hauling out a screaming toddler, tears streaming down their little face, kicking, screaming and wailing. Boy do I feel for those caregivers when trying to manage a screaming child, but I also kinda feel good inside. That child had so much fun at the library today that they don’t want to leave! That’s a win in my book. (Sorry, parents.)

Throwing a temper tantrum is completely developmentally appropriate for a two-year-old. A young child’s brain is just developed enough to understand they have independence but not developed enough to understand the nuance and reasoning behind adult schedules and responsibilities.

What’s a socially-accepted way for a toddler to express their emotions, however, is not the same as what’s acceptable for older children. We expect that children can better control their emotions and think more logically about situations by the time they get into grade school, and expectations are even higher for teenagers.

As children grow, it’s our job as caregivers, teachers, and members of our community to help children develop this essential social-emotional learning (SEL). During storytimes, we intentionally curate all kinds of ways for kids to grow emotionally because SEL skills learned in early childhood are directly tied to later positive outcomes.

For example, when we hand out bean bags for an activity and a child doesn’t get the color that they want, how do they react to that disappointment? We work in tandem with a child’s caregiver to acknowledge the feelings and help. Can the child go offer to swap with another child? Can they use their voice and ask for another color? (Who knew just handing out bean bags was wrought with so much emotion!?)         

Much of this skill development happens through interactions with caregivers, and children look to their trusted adults for guidance. If an adult is sitting and listening to the presenter, the child understands this is appropriate behavior. When the presenter hands out shakers to everyone, the child sees people waiting their turn and everyone eventually gets one. Young children learn self-management skills when they follow along clapping and mimicking the movement of the group.

One of the goals of our storytimes is that caregivers feel empowered to help their child acquire, practice, and develop these essential SEL skills. We provide the opportunities and guidance, they bring the cute kids and willingness to lead. Eventually, these children will grow into amazing people who have the self-awareness to handle the emotions life throws at them.

But no matter their age, we hope they always hate to leave the library.